January 15, 2008
When I read this, I had to borrow it and post it, it speaks the truth and it’s direct to the point…it’s an excerpt from a section very similiar to ’Dear Abby’.
Yo Mike,
I’m an attractive young 18-year-old guy, in shape, with a good head on my shoulders. A lot of guys happen to lust over me, which is fine. I walk in a place and guys go gah-gah! I have a great easy-to-love personality that can light up a room! I’m smart, very nice and respectful. Guys tend to call me the total package. But my problems are as follows: Whenever I go on dates, it doesn’t matter if its breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, or Sunday brunch it always turns into the guy wanting to have sex right away. Why do they always want to hook up? I mean I don’t look easy. I’ve put my foot down and said things like, "Hey I really don’t want to move things too fast." And they’ll go, "Oh, I totally understand… whenever your comfortable, this can definitely wait, baby," and then I never hear from them again!
So, from a very attractive older stud brother (you) who clearly knows the ropes here… How do I keep them for more than one night? And its not the sex, the sex from me is great! I have their eyes popping out and their mouths drooling! Is that all men want from me, sex? Is there any hope for young gays wanting LTRs? And why are guys such pussies when it comes to approaching me at any gay situated place or event? I myself am stumped! And I’m talking about outside of Manhunt as well. Help!
- Bad Magnet
Could it be your insufferable personality? Your bloated self-image? Your kill-me-now before-I-spend-one-more-minute-with-you ego?
The only reason I let you yammer on is to give you the chance to see how you come across. And to ask you this question:
Would you go out with a guy who’d write a letter like that?
Because I wouldn’t. That’s a guy I’d want to fuck not date. If I went out with a guy who thinks God has a picture of him on His night dresser, I’d run so fast my body wouldn’t be able to keep up with my feet.
So, yes, all people want you for is sex. You’re so unbearable, they figure, “hey, he can’t brag if he’s got his mouth full.”
So, what does a narcissist do when he finds out from his “older stud brother” that he’s fuckable but not dateable? Put down that hand mirror and I’ll tell you. For the next few weeks try this experiment:
1. Don’t talk about yourself. Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about things, and small minds talk about themselves. If somebody turns the subject to you, say something quick and turn the attention back to them. As in, “I’d much rather hear about you.”
2. Be interested, not interesting. Nothing makes guys feel more connected and valued than when you show a sincere interest in what they do, feel and like. I know. I fake interest all the time and get all kinds of dates.
3. Do a dialogue, not a monologue. If you want the conversation to pop you gotta let the speech fizzle. “Chemistry” is a spontaneous reaction of individuals to each other. And no, saying, “Can we talk about me for a change?” doesn’t count as a chemical reaction.
Basically, it comes down to this: If you want guys to be as interested in you as they are in your zipper, then stop acting as if God’s snapping your picture every time there’s lightning in the sky.
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