Rays of Light

Oh man, my papi (David Hernandez) was voted off the American Idol..damn..actually I was watching the show here and there, and judging from his expressions and body language, it appeared to be that he had enough and now that his name is known, hopefully he’ll get somewhere bigger and better. But I believe that because word got out that he used to be a stripper in a gay bar, it may of hurt his image, who knows. I didn’t expect him to be voted off so soon. I highly believe that there is untruth to the voting results or some conspiracy going on. It’s hard for me to believe he would be voted off so soon.

I had the time to watch the video’s I’ve posted of Madonna being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and I gotta say her acceptance speech was a side of Madonna I’ve not seen before. She was unpretentious and real for a change, and her speech was if it were a mini autobiography. Autobiographie are meaningless unless it was written from the person who it’s about, I like to hear or in this case read it from the "horse’s mouth".Some person claiming as if they were the fly on the wall and that they’re entitled to say what "really" happened in a person’s life. It has no true merit.

Anyway, for the 20 or so years I’ve been a Madonna fan (the first time I heard ‘Erotica’ I was terrified), for some odd reason the acceptance speech seemed very different. She’s always been known to be pretentious and when you get to know the real person behind all that, it seems surreal, because it’s not what we’re used to seeing.

I’ve come across a personal ad, I try to stay away from those things, I find that meeting total strangers off the net is odd and scary. I’m not to say that in the past I’ve not done so, but it when I was drunk/on drugs, even worse. Anyway, in the personal ad, a line I’ve seen in many ads, I’ve read "Prefer to meet someone with little mental baggage", and I replied to the person’s email and said "I’m sorry, but I carry baggage, just like everyone else, and depending on how you define it the difference between myself and those who think hat they don’t carry any baggage  is that 1. I ackknowledge I have baggage because all human beings do, 2. I am familiar with my faults unlike most human beings and 3. the day I will no longer carry any ’baggage’ is the day I die and  4.WAKE UP!

I dislike people who think that they’re all perfect and that their shit don’t stink. Nobody is perfect.Soooorrry to break it to ya, motherfuckers!

Let’s talk about my faults for example, one of my faults is that I scare men away and perhaps it’s because they need to be scared away, right Ladies? Men are sexpigs, right Spitzer? I let people know all my faults, I lay my cards on the table, among other things, and  I somewhat think I am the only person out there who on the first point of meeting a potenial mate, will say "Hi, I am Joey, trust me, you don’t want to get to know me, I am high maintanence, controlling, I complain a lot, possessive blah blah blah, and that’s what I subconciously do, because the fear of intimacy and fear of meeting someone who will like me for the good stuff and not all the "bad" stuff I feel I may have. HALLO, I beat myself up constantly. HALLO, I am a Leo. HALLO, poor excuse…HALLO, I know!!

Don’t’ get me wrong. With every fault comes, am absolutley fabulous characteristic. If you can handle the obstacles to get there..lol..BUT it’s damn worth it..lol…especially if sex is to follow…lol..

I designed the JOEYDAVID.com sign on my blog and I’ve done so because I wanted it to symbolize what I am about. I can stare at it all day like how someone can be with me all day and until I make them sick..lol..actually, I don’t think I can get sick of that colorful sign I created, perhaps it’s true with me? and like everything else in life, it all depends on who’s judging. But I’ve changed that sign countless times because I always found something wrong with the previous signs I’ve created. If you’ve been visiting my site on a regular basis, you noticed I keep changing it some way or another. Perhaps, it’s my way of reverting how I feel on the inside and that I’m looking for ways to change my life, for the better.A form of expression. These small changes are baby steps, I wouldn’t of thought in a million years that I would be able to do all this technical visualizations on my own. I would sit there and look at my site and say "I wish I could change it this way, but I don’t know squat about graphic design or how to use the software to create what I want to create. But how the hell would I know, unless I try it. And I did!! I’ve had the resources, the software for awhile now. But it collected dust between the harddrive and slots within my laptop..lol.ok..if you didn’t get that, it’s okay.

So I went through every single option and features I had at my disposal and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing but I jumped in and did it anyway. And these are small things, small little projects, but it starts off that way.

Art can be expressed in so many ways…Dance is art. Music is art. Painting is art. Art is everywhere. Its our way of expressing our true inner self, exposing ourselves and revealing who we really are.

And I just got started.