PicturesSex

Is there not a place where I can find a good umbrella in this city?  My umbrella was bending backwards, and what better timing when I’m J-Walking across the street. I was literally fighting with the umbrella. I WAS FIGHTING with the fuckin stubborn umbrella in the middle of the street. What a lunatic, I am!

So, because I am who I am..a lunatic.. I ended up throwing it away in the street garbage bin, then headed over to Shoppers Drug Mart and bought a new umbrella then returned it because it was so tiny it only covered my head, so the immigrant cashier gave me attitude for returning the umbrella, I said "too much work for you, huh?", then went across the street buy another crappy umbrella.

BUT

I did purchase a new camera after I researched cnet.com to what they had to say, and I referred to FutureShop’s website to see what people had to say about it, so the outcome? Both the professionals who rate the products and the customers gave it high scores so I bought it. Futureshop hate it when I come there and buy things, because I know what I am looking for, and have it ready for pick-up, they earn commission and I decline the additional warranty they annoy me with all the time. Before they even ask I say "NO".  They make a killing off those warranty programs when customers buy it, that’s why they push the customers to buy it.

Anyway, I took more pictures of myself, which I will post in the photo’s section. I’m most likely gonna get someone to take pictures of me. I have tons of other pictures of me on my laptop, but in my eyes, they’re not good enough.

OMG, while fidgeting with the new camera, I was watching some show ‘Flip’ something, a home renovation thing on TLC or whatever channel it is on, and the 2 guys were buying a new house, renovated it and then sold it, but it wasn’t that. They said these two hunks were brothers, and they had their mother on, the ‘brother’s were a bit too close to be brothers. One of them was hot, I would of done him right there and then.

Something like that happened last summer, where sex happened quickly. I met someone, we walked in Riverdale park downtown, went to see the cows, then walked in the cemetery, and I was getting turned on, I thought he wanted to have sex in the middle of the cemetery.  We then sat on the bench and he said "Listen, I don’t see us being lovers but I would love to go to bed with you." I was insulted and after a lot of hesitation, and 4 hours later the sex was over.

All I want to say is that SIZE does not matter,  especially when it feels like your jaw is about to break because the ‘thing’ is so big. Size only matters to the eyes, anything else, NO THANX. After all that, I thought I needed jaw surgery or something.

While doing these errands today I was listening to some of Madonna’s new album, and seriously was she on vallium when she did this album…the lyrics is not brilliant.

I wanna be on Saturday Night Live. One day it will happen.