Happy 175th Birthday Toronto!

Well, it’s about time my body got rid of the cold/flu that has kept me bedridden for 5 days. And for some odd reason when I’m sick my appetite increases and I tend to eat more than usual and what happens when I intake more calories than I burn? I GET FAT.

{Break Out in Song and Dance} I’m Fat, I’m Fat, You Know It, You Know…And the whole world has to know I’m fat…who’s fat? Joey is!

But it’s usually short lived.

Yes, the on and off again, love and hate marrigage with my body, my manly humps body goes on.

So, I don’t mind if you call me porkerpiggie until I deflate the tire. When I hit those cardio machines at the gym, I know I will be huffin’ and puffin’ like I did today. I’ve been eating lots of chicken lately ever since the local grocer has the dead birds on sale. Two For One! I’m a big time frugal. I stock up when there is a sale. So why not stuff my face with meat?

Britney is back, bitches! (Ok, that wasn’t the best segway)

I’ve seen bits and pieces of BritBrit’s comeback concert in 5 years, and judging from what I’ve seen, there was more movement from the dancers and moving objects and stage than her moving, she moves finger circles in the air and the audience goes nuts. Her vocals were pre taped which is the norm, but I’d rather have someone put on a show and lip-synch then put on a show and sound like an old bitter rag doll like IT Madonna. I still wonder why IT Madonna even attempts to sing live. Sometimes, it’s better to keep the legs and mouth shut for just a bit.

You know what’s ironic? That I waste $90/month on crap TV. When I turn on the TV, all that’s on is %99 PURE HORSE CRAP! Jesus, isn’t there anyone out there with the talent to produce good quality TV anymore? TV is junk food for the brain. There is no difference between the junk food you eat and the junk food for the mind when you watch TV. It’s no wonder a lot of people are brain dead, it’s because they’re feeding their brain with GARBAGE TV. Challenge the brain, don’t put it out to it’s misery with constant crap. They have a reality show for every single thing now.

Then we have the local news. If they’re not talking about the bad weather locally, they go find places that got bad weather and make it a top story!!! Toronto has had a long winter this year so this is what happens…”In Toronto it will be -20, but if you think that is bad, look at what New York City is dealing with”. Talk about misery loves company. The media goes in great length to bombard people with constant negativity.

When we finally get no snow, the news people bombard us with more misery. WHO CARES!!!! We have our own miserable weather, why would we want to see what another city is dealing with?? And it’s the SECOND news story on the news! Talk about putting your priorities first. I’m a strong person but for someone who’s weak it can cause severe depression and make people go hang themselves. They should post disclaimers before the news. “WARNING: If you’re clinically depressed, we will put you on the edge. Viewer Discretion is Advised”

Here’s my take on the Octopussy Mommy, there’s no question she’s a good mother but a bad one, it’s evident that she’s not all there. She shoved frozen embbies into her Octopussy and she popped out six, then when the reality show offers didn’t come, what does she do next? She shoved more frozen embbies into her Octopussy and had 8 more…no reality TV show yet, just offers to take her to the shrink. So if all that media attention wasn’t enough, she calls’ 911 and does some melodramatic crap thinking her kid ran away ( hey I would to if I had 15 siblings and a Octopussy mommy), but surprise the kid is next door just escaping from the insanity.

The babies should be put up for adoption, plain and simple. And she should be charged for Child Cruelty, because these kids will have major health issues as they get older, all because of some selfish person who was desperate for attention. Don’t Use kids to fix your problem! It’s not their job!

FYI:  Angelina Jolie did it because she has a nanny for every child, has millions of dollars and a home for every kid. You’re not Angelina Jolie, Octomommy. Even after the nose and lip job.

Anyway…time to get the speedo and go skinny dipping in the mud puddle. It will be 15C tomorrow and I’m not prepared. I’ve got manly humps popping out at everywhere.

Now that warmth is in the air, pigeons will be mating at every street corner. GET A PIGEON ROOM, you nasty birds!